Wretched Writers Welcome

I am changing 3Ps to 3Ws (Wretched Writers Welcome) by joining Bulwer-Lytton since I am not much of a writer because English is my second language. In this site, maybe I might win the Dishonorable Mention Award should I join their contest. Hey, at least it’s a winning instead of dreaming the impossible dream of being Freshly Pressed.

This is not just for me. It’s for you, too. Yes! You! You have until April 15 to join.

It’s really quite easy. All you have to do is write bad convoluted sentence. Here’s a sample from Linda Vernon and she was the 1990 winner.

Why is English hard for Filipinos. These are some of the reasons:

1. We think in Filipino (whatever dialect we speak) then translate it in English.
2. Grammar. It does not exist.
3. Our sentences are short with long words. Think about that!
4. We have weird wacky sense of humor.
5. We tend to repeat ourselves. We tend to repeat ourselves.
6. There is no pronoun in our language. No her, no she, no he, no him. We are all ‘it’.
7. We are direct to the point. No beating around the bush.
8. Vocabulary is poor because we can’t find a Filipino-English dictionary to help translate the word to proper terminology. Google is useless.
9. We have more than 100 dialects, therefore, no such thing as Tagalog language. We call it Tag-lish: combination of Tagalog and English. Or Span-log; combination of Spanish and Tagalog.
10. We speak with our hands, eyes, eyebrows, nose, lips and all that facial expressions.

I could go on but I must focus how I can beat Linda. Or maybe you can.