Sense of Wonder

Do you know that we are just like cats that get scared easily, fearful? So be careful. All we need is love.

Yesterday, I attended a conference in renewing my sense of wonder by bringing together theological, psychological and spiritual awareness of healing and forgiveness.

It is good to hear that as human beings, we experience anxiety, guilt, shame, depression and fear.

The biggest stumbling block and a barrier is FEAR.

Fear turns to anger, sadness, guilt, and so many negative feelings and emotions. The good, the bad and the real emotions. The unhealthy feeling that would suck the living life out of you. Or the healthy one that would move you to restore one’s stability.

The good thing about these feelings, emotions, and moments are they are teachable emotions and moments. Yes, it’s momentary situation. Not an all or nothing. It can teach us to be a better human being. We can learn from it.

On a theological standpoint, Psalm 139 is quoted throughout the course.

For example on depression: “Even darkness is not dark to you.” (Psalm 139.12) There is the dark night of the souls as St. Teresa of Avila had gone through. On mysticism, The Clouds of Unknowing, written by St. John The Cross, is very comforting.

The facilitator reminded us further and quoted the creation in Genesis. “God created man in his image, in the divine image he created them; male and female. On the sixth day, God looked at everything he created and found it very good.

We are good … inherently good.

On the psychological point of view, we need to seek medical attention. The medical field made a quantum leap in discovering medication and therapy that helps us live the gift of life. We need to keep on searching for a community of family, friends, and services that will enable us to function to the fullest of our ability. We need people for we are social being and stop alienating ourselves.

Feelings are feelings. They come and go.

To begin – understand the feeling. What is it telling you? It is a reminder that we are human beings. If you do not feel, that is a problem. You have the right to feel but do not have the right to act on it that can be disastrous to others or you.

These are basics and common sense.

On the spiritual point of view, this involves praying and meditation. Think of it as breathing process. All you have to do is breathe and be grateful for the gift of breath. No need to use your brain and play movies in your head. Ride on that breathes for it will take you to the spiritual realm that you need and not what you want. Do not think for our mind has a great ability to deceive ourselves. Have faith.

A bishop and a doctor facilitated the conference.

The doctor is a practitioner of psychology with pastoral background from the diocese of Denver and Los Angeles plus working on the criminal justice system in prison. A delightful man with a Scottish accent, with so much experience in dealing with common folks like me.

The bishop is a tall man wearing his bishop garb and pink hat.

Questions. So many questions from the attendees.

I submitted a questionnaire:

When depression turned to suicide even one is deeply Catholic,

• how does one live with this thought in a Christian way?
• they say suicide is a sin, does this mean the person is condemned to hell?
• how can we pass beyond the dogmatic teaching about suicide?

I saw the bishop picked my questionnaire and seemed to be in deep thought as he was reading it. He came up to the podium, read my question and answered it.

The answer was yes, no and maybe. He did not touch upon the dogmatic side. The short answer was that we do not have the right to kill.

Well, that does not answer my question.

In his discourse, he asked: What is God’s favorite game to play?”

Seriously, no one answered but me. What a bunch of very serious people.

Answering it on the top of my voice: Hide and Seek.

Correct he responded and he went on a long explanation about the game that put me to sleep and hide from the bishop.

Exactly three years ago, I wrote in my About Then  page:

One Minute Meditation:  The Master became a legend in his lifetime.  It was said that God once sought his advice: “I want to play a game of hide-and-seek with humankind.  I’ve asked my Angels what the best place is to hide in.  Some say the depth of the ocean.  Others say the top of the highest mountain.  Others still the far side of the moon or a distant star.  What do you suggest?”

Said the Master, “Hide in the human heart.  That is the last place they will think of!”   Anthony de Mello, SJ

The lesson I took away from this is to have no fear.  My faith remains intact.

Today is another milestone that I can add that I continuously face the fear of writing.

So, this is my story. What is your story?