Memorabilia: Just Listen

This is a photo of a  quote taped on a friend’s favorite spot, her desk.

We read it so many times, make up meanings and meanings change depending in our moods.  For most time we make fun out of it.

An ant goes round and round without
rest
Like all beings in the six realms of
existence,
Born here and dying there without
release,
Now becoming a hungry ghost, then
an animal.
If you are searching for freedom from
this suffering
You must hear the sound of one hand.

These are still resonant words.
Take a break from the clamorous rat
race of modern life.

Just listen.

She was searching for freedom from suffering is the focal point of this quote.  Freedom means death.  And we both just listened for it to come.  And it did come for her and I did not hear it coming.

What is the sound of one hand clapping?  Well, it’s actually a sign for the deaf.  You raise your hand or hands and start shaking them up in the air.  This is how the deaf clap their hands. No sound.

Buddha says “Life is suffering.”

Photo by: Daehyun Kim
Source: New York Times

Buddha says “Life is suffering.”  

Every time someone says this quote, I add: “Get with the program!” 

Yes, I agree.  What I do with suffering is either use it or lose it. 

Useful suffering teaches me something; it makes me wiser and cut away any useless limbs so that I may bear fruit, so to speak.  It makes me a better person, a better sister, a better friend and then some.  

Useless suffering is negative and depressing.  I cannot make sense of it.  When I try to analyze the situation, it causes analysis paralysis.  My spiritual, emotional, mental and physical well-being deteriorates.  I feel it’s a dead-end street and sometimes death is a good way out.  It is devastating. 

I have my fair share of suffering.  Family and friends help tremendously with their outpouring love to help me recover.  Behind this love is the deep faith we have that help me redeemed myself.  It is called Redemptive suffering. 

“Redemption accomplished through love remains always open to all love expressed through human suffering.”  Since my faith is based on the theology of Jesus, I offer my suffering to Him and I am privilege that He allows me to unite my suffering.  This is the greatest way for me in order to rise above the existential angst and cesspool of the soul. 

I can offer the grief, depression, limitation, frustration, pain and sorrow that I experience without suffering.  The uselessness of suffering becomes powerless.  Of course, I have fear.  I am never useless no matter what condition I am in.  And I can say the same to you, you are never useless.  In fact, other people can learn from us; we may be doing more good for humanity.  I know.  Being in the company of women at Talitha Kuom, I learned humility, love, perseverance, trust, compassion and patience. 

To keep up with my answer “get with the program”, I take a look at the area of my life and make sure that none of it is useless and wasted.

 

Related Articles:

• Wikipedia: Redemptive Suffering
• New York Times: The Value of Suffering
• Courage To Come Back

A Letter for the Grieving

Hi Uncle Cee:

 

I was pondering on what you wrote about the Holy Mother; how it helped you deal with losing the love of your life. And was reflecting on Mama Mary how she dealt with grief. 

• What was grieving like for her?
• How long did she grieve, when did she recover and what methods did she use?
• Who were the people who supported her during that time?
• How did she continue living life without Jesus Christ, losing the love of her life?
• What was it like for her to see the love of her life, Jesus Christ, suffered, crucified, put to death and buried?

Grief somehow opens up more questions.  Just like you, I questioned God and still do: WHY?  Why can’t you just take away Jan right now, why can’t you give her what she wants right now, Jan wants to die right now.  For years, 5 or longer, I watched Jan deteriorate, withering away, angry at God. Divine Retribution she says.  I say the God I know is loving, kind and merciful. 

Jan asked me to take her to a place to be euthanized.  My response was that she is not a cat; I can’t help her. Morbid sense of humour but Jan likes the blackness of it. Did God answer my questions, maybe He did.  Did I hear what God was whispering to the ears of my heart?  No. I was too busy listening to Jan and my heart ached for Jan. 

When I shared the Celebration of Life for Jan, I know I have arrived to that peaceful place where I can think of her fondly.  No tears, somehow tears won’t come and my heart is glowing with sweet surrender. 

How strange this grief I have for Jan in comparison to the death of my Mother.  And I know the next time someone dies close to my heart; it will be a different experience; for nothing can prepare me how I will feel.  I would have thought that since I welcome death as part of living, since I have taken cared of people with AIDs, since I have been trained to volunteer and counsel in the Hospice of St. Michael, I am well equipped.  Not really, I just have to have to go through it and enjoy the ride. 

I am alright, Uncle Cee.  Thank you for your help, prayers and concerns.  I hope I may be an instrument to your peace. I am here just a click away.  

Pax tecum.  Perpetua 

This is in response to DP Challenge: Writing Challenge Starting Over.   It’s fun.  Come and join us.