SO when the kids finished their higher learning, feeling all grown up, want to be independent, get a job and have an actual relationship outside their home. Two got married, two playing house with their partners, one living close to campus and one still at home graduating from high school. A breath of fresh air, having just one child at home with complex learned behavior from her five siblings. One more year, one more year, one more year keep singing in her Mother’s head.
SO what did the Mother do with the spare bedrooms? One quiet room for her when she has to catch up sleep after working the night shift, a playroom for the grandkids, and the third as a guest room. Gone are the things the kids left behind: knickknacks with sentimental values, books they treasured that will probably not be reread again, pin-up posters, old wallpaper, single beds, old clothes boxed stored in the garage or ready for goodwill and the rest were thrown away.
SO when the kids came home for a weekend visit, they were surprised and dismayed that house is not the same as they left it. What do they expect? Everything to remain the same and status quo? Their parents moved on not wasting any time to start doing the things that they love to do and put in on hold for the sake of the children.
SO parents enjoy the company of their children, for a short time, appreciating the moments of making new memories, bringing the grandchildren and their spouses and interaction is centered during meal time. As for any stored boxes with the kids’ name on them, they were forewarned to take them home or else ….
SO the children’s rooms may no longer be the same way they left it, but the house still is and will always be their home.
Photographs and Memories 
That has to be the way. Parents love their children, but parenthood takes over life and one day you can get it all back, If you don’t move on what are you going to do?
We moved to another location, so it was a big change to adjust for my daughter and us. 🙂
To a bigger house?
My daughter actually liked the changes we made to her room when she left home. Yes, it was different, but LIFE was different, so she was OK with that! Nice post!
Good stuff when a child appreciates changes in our lives. Thank you for your reflection.
Yes! I still have my kids ‘stuff’ (that I cannot bear to toss) all boxed up for them. My boys room is now the spare room and my daughters room is my office. The same but different–as it should be. This resonated with me, Perpetua.
It is hard to part with something when you are attached to it. My sister actually still keeps all the Christmas ornaments made by her children. So when the kids come home, they will look for their artwork. Thanks, Lois.
Funny how children want things to be the same, not recognizing that as people our lives evolve also.
Sometimes children can be idealistic until they start living on their own.
For sure
I love this post because these days it seems unconventional to be looking forward to an empty nest, WHICH I AM. It’s as you say — I have enjoyed my children, I still enjoy my children, I wouldn’t undo them or speed it up, it happens naturally. They go get lives and we get on with ours.
I always think it’s neat when I visit someone’s childhood home and it’s like a shrine, barely changed since. It’s getting rarer as I get older, and the only ones who ever had that are the ones who had large homes to begin with. We have a bungalow, bought when we had only two of four residing with us, and that was planned. We were never going to get another 4 or 5 bedroom house. He didn’t want stairs, I didn’t want to clean 3-4 toilets. This is our home. Eldest child comes “home” to visit, but this was never his home and he seems okay. He still has a box in the garage, when he wants it, or not. Eldest daughter lives far and has her own family. It’s easier for us to go there.
My parents downsized while I was still at college, my room was shared with my mother’s office. It wasn’t always convenient for either of us, but they enjoyed full use of their house when I left, and holding on to the prior home wasn’t the right decision for them. Space should be well-utilized.
We are on the three-year plan. In three years, our youngest will be done with high school. We already have plans for their rooms, whenever it happens, and they know it.
Good read. 💗♥️
They do come back at least once every 2 months for family dinner, which they will let me know what dish they want to eat.
Always can lure them back with a good meal 🥰😊 –
Poteet
Thanks for sharing, Joey. Yup, parents should spread their wings once the nest becomes empty. Yup, keep those spaces useful. Three years will fly by. Zoom-zoom.
Last precious moments, sometimes, hm? They’re sure busy enough to fly! 🙂
Well said Perpetua! Sounds like the perfect evolution.
Thank you, Tina.